reasons you don't want to be a penis:
#1: You're bald
#2: You have a hole in your head
#3: Your neighbours are nuts
#4: The guy behind you is an asshole
#5: When excited too much, you'll throw up and pass out...

person 1: i saw this guy peeing in a urinal and he had the smalelst dick ever.
person 2:how small was it?
person 1:he was peeing on his balls

thanks to aninjacock for these :P